What I deserve vs what you want from me requires a conversation. Relationships with boundaries how to make them work
Firstly, are fit to be in a relationship? What I mean by this is. Does the idea of binge-watching Netflix, sharing a large packet of Doritos with humus in bed and ignoring the outside world, whilst relinquishing every last moment with your partner. Excite you more than actually putting yourself first then maybe you should continue reading this blog…
bOuNDaRieS, are the apparent hot topic of 2019, however everyone is speaking about them yet, those who actually put them into practice reflects a small percentage. What do boundaries in relationships actually look like? Personally, I don’t know because I never had any hence why I, Sarah Uwaoma the founder of Lí Lingerie is single (Thumb). For women who want more from life it can be frustrating. As the feelings of selfishness to turn town shared moments with your other half to prioritise your career, education, hustle can appear egoistical. Physically telling someone “no I do not want to go to the shard and have a meaningless conversation about the skyline” … “I would rather focus on my project” can sound horrible and quite frankly very bitchy (God you’re actually a cow). But, if putting yourself first makes you a cow then so bit it. What I really deserve is a partner who understands these are my key years and right now I’m doing whats best for me [peace].
As months float by loose dialogue surrounding what we actually want from each other becomes harder to discuss. Almost as equivalent to a no deal Brexit. A job comes up on the other side of the country, you aren’t as committed as a year ago, the guy who works on the first floor in the office is actually V attractive and keeps asking when are we grabbing drinks... Quite frankly, you're over it. The relationship that is. In addition to this your sense of boundaries, empowerment can’t seem to take flight in your own life. Even though you’re a big F’ing feminist on the internet with advice for everyone else.
Boundaries in relationships can also mean ending things and taking back some control. Self-love and regaining control have become 2019 buzz words which is incredible once put into play. What do you want to get out the rest of the year? who do you actually seeing yourself dating (including celebrities), and what heights to you plan to take on your next step? Are questions that become dissolved when boundaries become blurred.
My advice: speak up, speak more and discuss boundaries because they either make ya or break ya. I also want apologise for bringing on a reality check you didn’t think you needed.
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Founder of Li Lingerie